Goldz Field & Guttah Face - Sailing On

Now first off, I don't give a fuck how anyone takes this, it is for artists that tour to be excited & cautious, if you are on here in a bad light, then learn from it and quit acting like yr doing something when you ain't doing shit. I appreciate all my travels whether good or bad, smooth or rocky, at the end of the day, this is just my opinion that I decided to share with my peers because I think good people should connect with other good people & hard working touring artists should stay away from you snake pussy motherfuckers.

Xrin Arms - Wandering Heaven (Hell) Playback.

1. Everett WA

The venue was Tracey's Place, playing with some nu-metal hot topic metal, these folks did not want us there whatsoever, put us on first, treated us like shit & tossed us a 20$. Luckily the Poopscam film people asked us to come rock a house with some good people & they hooked us up. I suggest going thru them if you want something dope in Everett.

2. Seattle WA

The Josephine was the venue, Joy Von Spain set the show up, everything went very smooth here, but it always does, dope venue & people.

3. Portland OR

The venue Dunes was very dark & shaped like a shotgun. Ogo was the promoter. We had asked for 100$ & received 50$, I brought out the main turnout for the show, promoter did all he could.

4. Grants Pass OR

This lady set this up as a house show, they had three months to gather some people from there tiny town. We show up, there is chickens, cujo dogs, the lady(Spoiled Pussy) & her husband were there acting all spacey & texting people over. They wanted me to play by a chicken coop in front of just them for potato salad(seriously). This place was horribly creepy, so we just said fuck this & left.

5. San Francisco CA

We had been getting the run around for months from Jonathon from Summer Blondes, starting off with him setting two solid bay area shows, he strung me along still promising shows until the very last minute, then a week before we are supposed to be there, it's us added on another show and MAYBE donations. It's too expensive of a city to be in for MAYBE donations, we said fuck it and moved on.

6. Los Angeles CA

The venue Three of Clubs was a great place, the promoter (Brian from Heartthrob) was a complete moron. 100$ guarantee for 3 months & he demanded I bring my own door guy, which I did. He never lets us know what is going on, and there is already a door guy at the place, so we thought they got this, it's cool right, nope, everybody in the place was let in for free. When I approach Brian about this, he says "Well YOU gotta go get your money, it's not my fault", it turned into a back & forth verbal lashing, to the point we had to leave, or we would have stomped the sense into this dude. He is one of the worst promoters ever.

7. San Diego CA

First off, The TreeHouse & Park Gallery are both great spots to play if you are in San Diego but do not book through the selfish/clueless duo Vaginals/Lost Iguana(Maria/Dylan). These two acted like we owed them the world because they got us added to these shows, including expecting us to be their taxi service, giving us wrong directions to where they wanted to go, fucking up our carpet with their shitty gear & asking us if they could sleep in our RV, it got to the point where I just snapped & kicked them out. Afterwards receiving a creepy amount of phone calls demanding I pick them up & take their fake ass artsy bullshit to the show. They ended up using someone else. San Diego is one of the greatest places to play shows, but not when you deal/book/hangout with these two, they are just awful.

8. Kingman AZ

Kingman AZ usually is one of my favorite places to go to, it still is, this past show wasn't really all that great or all that bad either, it was so so, but I recommend every artist/band goes through this city.

9. Tempe AZ

We got a last minute show in this city at the Palo Verde Lounge, oddly being one of the best shows on the tour. Sonny from Tightholes set this up within 24 hours and everything was cool. We got heads out, they got heads out & if you wanna see some great power violence in Arizona, hit them up.

10. Phoenix AZ

We were supposed to play at The Dressing Room, that afternoon we drove a bit outside of Phoenix to get my laptop fixed & noticed a basketball size bulge in our tire. It was the weekend so we had wait until the morning to get it fixed. We had to cancel because we didn't have a working vehicle, when I politely called, upset to cancel the show I was berated by one of the Melted Cassettes folks saying "You full of shit" & "You don't wanna play with us because some people that don't like us told you not to"... Already pissed off about having to replace a tire, I just hung up on dude. So they couldn't internet drag us in the mud, we put a picture up on facebook of our fucked up tire. I was looking forward to linking with them dudes, not now.

11. Tucson AZ

We played the Plexus, which is this Van Halen like master dome behind this warehouse. We booked thru Sakurapups & he made sure we got good money and had a great time, I dig him and his homey. I slept at Michael Wasmund's home, which I suggest anyone who travels through here, make sure you meet him or book thru him.

12. Las Cruces NM

This one is easy, get to the Yum Bunny, I hear music, walk into a room full of death metal boys & girls, the band stops playing, we all are stare at each other & they say "no show tonight man", and then they all get in their rides & ride off. DO NOT BOOK HERE.

13. Albuquerque NM

Booked through a solid dude named N8 at a place called Kosmo's. Great show, great people & of coarse the best thing I saw all tour, the band Sabertooth Cavity, blows everyone to smithereens.

14. Joplin MO

I booked at Electric Arts Tattoo shop, everything went smooth. Joplin MO is one of those cities that might get overlooked sometimes, but book there, people are real there. SIDENOTE: There is also a place called Cesspool Castle that is good to play at.

15. Tulsa OK

The Soundpony is one of those dream venue's where everything goes so right that you can't believe it is real. Tulsa is one of my favorite cities to play at.

16. Ft. Worth TX

I was supposed to play at Wasted Words Collective, but apparently, they canceled the show without letting me know.

17. Dallas TX

Show was supposed to be at Phoenix Project, but something was going on there, drama bullshit, I met one of the dudes from that venue, if he would have spent as much time setting up a show as he did trying to convince me he wasn't racist everything would have been okay. It's fine though, my hammer Matt got me this intimate DJ set at some hip hop spot.

18. Denton TX

I got a show from some crew called Schoolhouse or some bullshit like that at this posh coffee shop where they wanted all the bands to play a patio where people could barely see them play, I asked to play on the ground & they complied but I had to use my PA which was not equip for outside show use. They were acting all corny & this show was pretty much a joke to me so we said fuck & left.

19. Denton TX

Denton TX is another favorite spot of mine in America, I mean what a really wonderful personality this place has. So I'm glad I got a show that was on my level of good. I suggest Doom basement to everyone going through there, the spot & people are dope.

20. Austin TX

I've never not had a good time in Austin, usually I do too many drugs there, haha. I played at a Moose Lodge & it went well, that is how killer Austin Tx is.

21. San Antonio TX

The show here didn't pan out but I did however get pulled over & had a cop scream for me to exit my vehicle with his gun pointing at me for an apparent busted tail light that we didn't have. Be careful Texas police are nut nut.

22. McAllen TX

I booked this show through my friend A Beautiful Lotus, I didn't know what to expect, not too many artists go this far south in Texas to play, it is a few miles north from the Mexican border. Well McAllen was 100% one of the highlights of this tour, everyone there was so humble & friendly. It was fun to some kickboxing moshing too.

23. Houston TX

Damn Houston is a grimy city, have yr weapons handy around that place. The show I played was at Not Suoh, which is a good place to book, their sound guy was tiptop. The show was not great & it was not bad, it just had a very strange vibe, it's unexplainable, you should just go & experience it for yourself.

24. Pensacola FL

This was a pretty good show, I played at The Handlebar. Good promoter, good crowd & we even got a motel room for little to nothing. Make sure you stop here, it's a good city to hang out in too.

25. Gainesville FL

Ugh, where do I even start. Gainesville FL is one of the worst places to do anything in, the whole place has gone to hell. I had two shows here both having over a dozen artists on the bill. The first one was a bill full of south florida pretentious, no sense having, show offs. I was even heckled for not being technical enough here, I've never claimed being technical, I dig a simple set up, it's about the energy & passion, I know I'm not Aphex Twin. Funny thing though after I played, my second favorite band I saw this trip, Rotten Apples played, and no one gave a shit, probably because their music made sense.

In between both Gainesville shows I was supposed to go play down in a few places in south Florida, nothing but flake shit, so we were stuck in Gainesville for a week, DO NOT EVER GET STUCK IN GAINESVILLE ON YOUR TOUR, trust me.

Ok, the second Gainesvilles show... Everything is Terrible movie was cool, but too long. The rest of show, I literally felt like I was in a part psych ward, part daycare center for adults. Spirit Cat, one of the dudes in charge of the show was a cool cat though, if you must go through Gainesville, go through him, Chris Miller is a good dude too. So anyways at this show, this guy named Lissajou decides to pull the biggest drama queen scene I've seen in years, he jumps on stage (while Fun was setting up, looking hella uncomfortable) and decides to yell and berate Chris Miller, for some non sensible bullshit, just making a spectacle of himself, acting like a baby with a shitty diaper, straight up the fruitiest shit I've ever seen an artist do possibly ever. So yeah I'm gonna pass on Gainesville from here on.

26. St. Augustine FL

What a beautiful place! I booked the show through Travis Johnson at Present Moment Cafe & he hooked it up, I really dug this show, the place, the promoter & everyone in attendance.

27. Jacksonville FL

Same as above, great experience, played at The Shanty Town & had a great time, next time I come thru Florida, it's gonna be Pensacola, St. Augustine & Jacksonville, I dug all three of those cities alot.

28. Atlanta GA

I did a show at Eyedrum, I liked Robby the hammer who booked me, dude had a really solid vibe about him. All the artists i played with were cool too. My only stipulation with this show was that everybody sat down the whole show like an opera.

29. Johnson City TN

The Hideaway, yes, this place rules & the folks in this city/town are just amazing, all the artists really killed it this show as well. I always appreciate spending time with & being a part of a show with Bryan Saunders, I stayed with the most interesting man of all time, his name is Todd, his personality & home are amazing to be around, play here & meet these hammers I'm speaking of.

30. Hickory NC

I know the XATV episode of my first Hickory experience seems outlandish, but in reality, the people here are warm, CHILL & passionate people, I dig them. The show was a good time, I could have done without the band that threw meat around & drink their own piss though, I forget their name & hopefully soon will block the scene out of my mind completely.

31. Raliegh NC

I played a small apt at a place called African Queen, it was okay, nothing to write home about, I had a decent time.

32. Greensboro NC

Sooo, this was the place where I dealt with the worst of the worst of promoters, and the biggest pussy I've ever encountered. Sam Martin, had close to 4 months to come up with my 100$ guarantee, week before show, says he might not be able to get, but will get close to it, fair enough. I get there to a record store, there is not one flyer in sight & Sam Martin is all nervous acting like he has ants in his pants. The turn out is bad, probably due to this fuckface not promoting at all. It's still cool, I'm down to play and we make an agreement where he will paypal 50$ in a few weeks, he looks me in the eye & shakes on this. I let some time go, way past the two weeks, until I get stranded in South Dakota and that 50$ would really help us, so I FB message Sam Martin and he denies everything!.. here is it unedited...

"1:41pmSam

i told you the most i could give you is 20

1:41pmMe

naw dude, when we were leaving you said 50$ would be sent, everyone

there heard that too.

1:42pmSam

no

your persistence is really bothering me

i did plan to send you money

but as i explained im broke

everytime i have extra money something comes up

for example im paying for my car to fixed today

1:43pmMe

my persistence is bothering you?!

1:43pmSam

yeah

1:43pmMe

yr empty words are bothering me

you dont tell people shit and not come thru

1:44pmSam

im not trying to have an discussion about honor with you

you made some money that night

im broke

1:45pmMe

it aint about honor, its about not fucking with people.

1:45pmSam

i told you i would do my best

1:45pmMe

you know what, nevermind, i'll have one of my NC dudes, come thru to

yr next show. You can give them the money."

then realizes how much of a bitch he is and sends me this electronic message...

"I'm sorry I lied to you about sending you money. Because I wasn't expecting it, I acted without thinking and shook on a promise I could not keep. I can't send you any money. Im also sorry i was spiteful and mean when you facebook chatted me this afternoon. Out of all the shows I have booked I have never had someone confront me about me about money."

Worst promoter in america, biggest pussy of all time.

At this point of the tour we had been shit on & dealt with so many RV break downs that we had to cancel some shows I was really looking forward to playing such as Baltimore, Nashville, Athens, Pittsburgh & NYC. We ended up playing Akron & Cleveland and getting our broken ass RV back out west, so we didn't break down somewhere unsavory.

There are alot of shows, where the promoter would cancel a day or two before the show, which really fucks up a touring bands agenda. Here is a list of people who terrible promoters or just flat out sketchy people.

Reno NV - Every promoter gave the ultimate run around

Richmond VA - Art Reference Gallery - clueless & could care less about any respect for touring acts.

Lansing MI - AJ & Caleb, they play games, get upset if you don't become their bff's & act like touring bands don't need money.

Chicago IL - Tootheye, he bitched about me booking another show in Chicago that wasn't through him, he's like that kid in gradeschool that was mad that you had more friends than just him.

Places & promoters that were legit about having to cancel shows or understanding of me having to cancel for legit reasoning.

Fargo ND - Nestor Tavern/Grindthieves

St. Paul - Eclipse Records

Ann Arbor MI - Far House